Ageing DnB fan about one drink away from commandeering Bluetooth for some aggressive jump up

It is beyond dispute that 37-year-old Reece is on one at the moment after happily saucing his steak all afternoon during a Sunday session. By all reports, he’s been eyeing off the Bluetooth speaker playing tunes for the past 45 minutes.

After 10 pints and 3 seltzers, Reece has allowed himself to dig deep into his youth locker and is currently channelling the slimmer, fitter more hairsome chap that he once knew. It’s only a matter of time.

We spoke to Reece’s mate who had been slamming back piss with him all afternoon and eventually ended up back at a friend’s house. He told The Times,

“I know that look in Reece’s eyes. We used to tear it up back in the day. Andy C every Australia Day, Shape Bar, you name it. He was deffs one more froff away from putting TC-Deep on as loud as it’ll go and to be honest that’s exactly what happened”

Indeed it did. Reece finished his 4th Coopers Sparkling at the kick-ons and commandeered the Bluetooth speaker with all the grace of an iceskating hippo. He told The Times,

“TUUUUUNNNNEEEEEEE, man I used to have the sickiest pair of Dickies and wear Royals when I was stomping to this shit. I just want to feel alive man. I’m at the wrong end of 30 and have a kid on the way. Please just let me have this moment”

That they did. By all accounts, Reece danced like her never danced before. Flailing wildly in the way he used to do on DnB dance floors across Perth. His wife told The Times,

“I’ve caught him a few times pulling into our driveway pumping DnB at an anti-social volume. I know he’s not ready to let go and I accept him for who he is”

We understand Reece is currently loading up Tarantula and doesn’t give a flying fark what you think.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?