A NOR ranga is recovering at home this afternoon after a mob of frenzied teens lost control in Butler after mistaking the man for pop superstar Ed Sheeran.
A witness at the scene said it was an unfortunate mobbing but the bloke was kinda asking for it walking around with a red beard, glasses, and a shit haircut. Adding,
“Look, Perth is obviously at fever pitch over this Ed bloke coming and this feller seemed to go out of his way to look like the singer. His hair was a bit long but ol rednuts was even carrying a bloody acoustic guitar!”
Dave* who didn’t want to give his real name said he’d just come from playing a few tunes at the beach when the mobbing occurred. He told The Times,
“I kept telling the mob that I wasn’t Ed but as soon as they heard my British accent it got serious. It was like adding a drop of blood to a feeding frenzy. I ended up signing a bunch of merch just to escape alive. I was about 5 seconds from being forced to sing Galway Girl before the police rescued me from the pack”
At the peak of the mobbing, an estimated 1000 teens were clawing at the British expat in their attempt to get a brush with fame. Police are advising all rangas to exercise extreme caution this weekend. A spokesperson for the WA Police told The Times,
“We would caution any individual with a manicured ranga beard, thick glasses and shit haircut to be aware of their surroundings. These fans are in a heightened state of excitement and will swarm any old ginger as we saw this afternoon”