There was little doubt in people’s minds that the already drunk guy on a flight from London to Amsterdam this morning was from Western Australia after a dazzling display of obnoxious just after take-off.
Serenity was blown apart on a flight after the nasally shrill of the thirsty punter filled the ear holes of every passenger on board.
Witnesses say the man with a pair of white Oakleys around the back of his neck hit the flight attendant button within milliseconds of the seatbelt light going off.
After waiting approximately 2.5 seconds for service, the man let out an audible groan before releasing a sonic boom from his mouth,
“Oi! can yas sort me out with a beer? Make it 3 so I don’t have to wait again ay?”
He repeated the request 3 more times before a flight attendant approached him and asked him to settle down.
A woman sitting a few rows ahead of the man got her chance to confirm her suspicions after walking down the aisle to go to the loo. She told The Times,
“Oh yeah, he was a purebred. Unit singlet, Jet Pilot boardies and a West Coast Eagles hat. He had kicked his thongs off and honestly I’ve seen better kept feet in the Lord of the Rings movies. He was horrible”
An unfortunate English couple were stuck next to the man who loudly regaled them with stories about being a cashed up boily from Rockingham. He said he was “on tour” and his mission was to show these “euro softcockks” how a real man drinks.
The English man took a moment to compose himself before continuing,
“He said there’s no way he’d drink Euro-piss at home but he’d have to work with what he’s got. He then told us if we wanted to duck off to the toilet to play stinky finger he wasn’t going to tell anyone”
Doing Perth proud as always.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?