When Geraldton makes it to the wireless, you rarely hear of just how big a heart the City has. This is Geraldton’s Thai kids in a cave moment and they have gone full Elon Musk with an offer no search party could refuse.
WA’s most advanced sub will be deployed into waters off Canada today to help find the 5 people lost in the Titanic submersible. Very few vessels can reach such depths but Gerladton’s yellow submarine is one of them. A spokesperson for WA told The Times,
“We want to offer our help during this time. The yellow submarine is WA if not Australia’s best sub. Have you seen those Collins-Class pieces of shit? We want to save these billionaires not give them hearing impairment”
Not only will Geraldton likely save the day but it’s also a great opportunity to shove one up the arris on rivals Dongara. A Gero local told The Times,
“Those freaks over in Dongara really think the sub is theirs. Well, I don’t see it there. I see it here in the mighty Gero. A superior and more genetically diverse mid-west city. Those brother-dads and mother-sisters can go and rack off!”
For the sake of fairness, we sought comment from a Dongara resident who was busy painting the tank of a petrol truck yellow in the hopes he could also deploy a sub to help on the mission,
“I will not sit back and let Gero take the credit for anything. They stole that damn sub from us and the town has never been the same since. You know what they say about Geraldton right? Let’s just say the local shower salesman isn’t kept busy ha ha ha. Can smell Gero from here mate. They’ll get rescued by that yellow sub only to suffocate in a thick Gero musk”
Good speed, yellow sub, may you bring a resolution to this most ghastly business.
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