An aspiring influencer has well and truly cracked the shits after sitting down the day after her wedding to review the content she meticulously filmed throughout the celebration.
After 6 hours of being appalled by her unphotogenic friends & family, she told her husband that they’ll have to do redo it and claimed it was a massive waste of time.
The hubby had just put his car up on Marketplace to finance the second wedding when we spoke to him. He told The Times,
“What my angel wants, my angel gets. She’s going to be a massive star one day and all this hard work will pay off. I wish she hadn’t called my grandma a fat sack of shit but we did give her some extra notice to shape up for the big day. She ruins every photo she’s in!”
The unhappy bride has also informed her inner circle that there was going to be “big changes” to the invite list. The most notable change was scratching her bridesmaid off the list after she stole the show with her natural beauty. She told The Times,
“OMG this is the worst thing that’s happened to anybody ever. Why is everyone talking about Israel and Hummus? Dip is irrelevant when your bridesmaid looks hotter than you! And all the drunk dancing is ick! I told everyone to learn content worthy dance moves. What a nightmare”
Another big absence will be her father who thought he’d make a few funny faces in the photos. Knowing full well the aesthetic of the wedding was royal elegant chic. She told The Times,
“He’s a bit character and loves to goof around. I guess he thought the $75k he paid gave him licence to be himself?? We won’t make that mistake again. I post skin care routines! I’M A SOMEBODY”
While the news of the second wedding will come as a shock to all the guests who will have to buy presents again, it was quite evident to a few keen observers.
We spoke to the DJ who saw the cracks forming,
“Have you ever seen the couple feed each other cake and then the bride checks the video she’s taking of herself doing it and burst into tears? Then screaming at him to do it properly and not get any around the edges of her mouth? Nah, I thought that was a bit off”
To ensure no mistakes are made on the do over, the bride has created a 30 minute video that she’ll be demanding everyone watch and upload a video of them reacting (solemnly) to it. Failure to do so will result in refusal of entry.
Better learn how to shoot TikToks mum!
