Damien can’t believe his luck. He’s stumbled upon a new nutrition regime that permits him shed the kegs provided he only does his consumption from 2-10pm each day.
See, Damien is a convert to the 16/8 intermittent fasting method. Although some may argue he is taking a few liberties with what he consumes within the 8 hour window.
Tucking into half a Coles mud cake and his 5th-afternoon froff, he told The Times,
“Imagine eating like this and working on my beach body! Only a few weeks now, so this had better work. However, I’m assured by some very credible websites that it’s a slam dunk”
Indeed, Damien has conveniently discarded the philosophy of KJs in / KJs out, and has put his entire faith in the 16 hour he isn’t spending stuffing his face like the cookie monster at morning tea.
Chasing his cake morning tea with another roast chook & slaw roll, Damien continued,
“I’d never dream of adding extra mayo to my chicken rolls but I can now. Oi, pass us another froff would ya. None of this low carb shit either, I’m on the heavies, mate”
Well, it’s a good thing none of this disgusting gluttony is going to make old mate hefty. Science has really come through for him.
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Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
