A flight to Melbourne from Perth has been forced to turn around and land today after a passenger deployed several pumps of Joop! in the toilet.
The incident occurred at roughly 7:30 this morning when a greasy middle aged man took executive action after being seated next to a woman he found attractive.
Knowing his usual charms weren’t going to seal the deal the man went “nuclear”. We spoke to a witness who said the entire plane was gagging, adding,
“It was rough we could smell it instantly, this isn’t like a few spritzes of Acqua di Gio mate, he went full Joop! Homme, in a confined space and lots of it”
After exiting the toilet, several children started crying, a flight attendant fainted and the pilot announced that his eyes were burning. It got worse from there as a witness told us,
“He’d also taken a shit after a big weekend on the piss in Perth so when he opened the door we were hit by this sort of mutated Joop-shit-cloud, man, it was something else, the pilot said he had no choice but to turn back or he’d boot his windscreen right off for some air”
While being detained by several passengers, the man shooted his shot and asked the women if she’d excahnge contact details with him.
Naturally, she declined.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?