Karratha Couple Call Off Wedding After Critical Thong Blow Out

A Karratha couple was forced to call off their big day after Big Cambo’s right thong suffered a catastrophic blowout leaving the plug-hole looking like a prolapsed bungus.

However, this was no ordinary thong. This was not only Big Cambo’s finest pair of formal thongs but it was also the thongs he was wearing on the couple’s first ute tray root. A moment he described as the great day of his life.

Thong repair experts on the scene said there was nothing they could do for Big Cambo’s thong. It was beyond a simple bread clip, not that Big Cambo would’ve accepted such a shoddy repair job on his big day.

We spoke to Big Cambo who was consoling himself with a 4 pack of Woodstock while pondering the cruel nature of thong ownership. He told The Times,

“Yeh nah, cuntsfarked, I knew before even giving it a gander, farken spewin’ but, they were only 4 years old, practically new ay”

We asked whether the wedding was still going ahead,

“Mate, the weddo is just on smoko until I can find the perfect pair orrioooght, how would yous feel if some dick head married your princess wearing a pair of pub thongs or brand spankers that haven’t even developed a groove”

Big Cambo’s bride was in tears over the announcement but ultimately understood the decision. She told The Times,

“I’m gutted, Big Cambo was just running some checks on the post-wedding burnout vehicle and he must’ve stepped in some melted rubber, it seemed fine at the time but when he came inside it just fell apart. I can’t believe I waxed for this”

Big Cambo decided to throw a cancelled-wedding party and was in the process of getting pissed. He left us with this sentimental statement,

“I decided to put a ring on it cos I blew in her and now I can’t cos of a blowout, that’s the way life blows mate”

Indeed, Big Cambo, indeed.

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