Local wife jealous of all the time her husband’s spending with Stirling Highway

There is trouble brewing in paradise between North Freo couple Jesinta and Bailey over claims he is spending far too much time with Stirling Highway and neglecting her needs.

Not only does Bailey work in West Perth but he has multiple friends, sporting commitments, and family living along the Western Suburb’s most infamous highway. Simply put, he spends close to half his life with that cruel mistress. Jascinta told The Times,

“He comes home and it’s Stirling Highway this, Stirling Highway that, it’s all he can bloody talk about! Stirling Highway is stealing my man from me and he dares to boast about it. Major ick”

Bailey denies he is having an affair with the highway and goes as far to say that “hate” isn’t a strong enough word to describe his emotions towards it. He told The Times,

“Yeah, I talk about Stirling Highway a lot because if I didn’t vent I’d probably implode from frustration and anger. Christ I hate that piece of shitway. I considered catching the train but ew, it’s just not in my Perth genetics”

Bailey went on to describe that the train was out of the question because he’d have to travel along Stirling Highway which would mock & goad as he accepted defeat against the notorious stretch of congested filth.

To help ease the marital problems, Bailey has offered to take Jesinta along to get to know the highway as well as he does. She accused him of trying to lure her into some sort of 3some. Adding,

“He just rubs it in my face, I want nothing to do with that highway-hussy. All my friends & family live SOR so I refuse to darken it’s poorly thought-out dual carriageway with my shadow!”

In an act of revenge, Bailey has noticed his wife getting dressed up to the nines and having increasingly more common flutters with Canning Highway. Even going as far as to joke with Bailey that Canning Highway actually knows how to handle her chassis. He told us,

“See the hypocrisy here! She is always spending time with Canning Highway but I never thought anything of it. Maybe I should be worried, it is marginally better at handling peak-hour loads”

Sadly, this is just another cruel tale of Perth’s infrastructure tearing lives apart.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?