Man reaches “shelving Hydralyte” stage of trying to beat New Year’s hangover

Damo, a double bacon deluxe of a bloke, has tried every trick in the book to beat his brutal hangover today. Alas, nothing seems to be working.

In the morning, he tried the hair of the dog which only lead him to serenade the porcelain wishing well. Then he went for a greasy breakfast that gave him all sorts of crook guts. Then he even tried a little thing called water. Nothing was helping.

That’s until his housemate came home claiming to have the medicine – a fresh tube of electrolytes. His housemate told The Times,

“I told him that the carton of bush chook and bottle of tequila had robbed his body of essential electrolytes so I have him some Hydralyte but he claimed it was doing nothing. That’s when we had to get creative”

Damo reportedly rolled onto his back and told his housemate to feed the dog through the backdoor. This wasn’t a task his housemate had signed up for and left Damo to his own shelving.

See, Damo is so familiar with shelving they call him Ikea. He knows that when you need something to work fast and intensely you pop it up the Hakea wallet. He told The Times,

“Yeah I got the idea from when I bunged a coupla green mitsi’s up me ‘ole for the first time. Man that was a good night. I’ve been a convert ever since so surely shelving was going to get me out of this predicament”

By all accounts it was a tight squeeze, but Damo was up for the task. After getting 4 up there he was a new man. It’s hard to tell if it actually worked or just a placebo given his passion for the practice.

Either way, arris full of fizz, Damo is heading to a beer garden near you.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?