Local mid-30s bloke and former party animal Sam has made sure his green wristband from the Pendulum gig yesterday remained on his wrist as he carried his arse into work today.
“Yeah babe, I partied on a school night, no biggie”, Sam was heard rehearsing to himself in the bathroom mirror while he waited for his 3 NoDoz to kick in.
After feeling as alive as he ever was going to be, he stormed out of the bathroom to converse with the zoomer behind the reception desk. A witness told The Times,
“He kept positioning his arm with the wristband into her line of sight. She eventually asked what it was for and if by a miracle he was full of beans again. He told her that he went to Pendulum which is pretty much how a young, carefree raver like him rolls”
After this encounter, he smashed half a pack of Ibuprofen to help relieve some of the stiffness he woke up with after about 45 minutes of light flailing on the d-floor. He told The Times,
“How did I used to do this until 6 am every weekend? I barely worked up a sweat and I’m hurting. Still worth it. For a brief moment there I forgot about all my problems and I was a kid living in the moment again. Now I have a reality comedown. Which is worse than the comedowns I had back then ha ha”
Although desperately yearning for a power nap, Sam managed to keep it together as he told anyone who listened about nostalgic bangers that he hadn’t heard live for many years. He even, somewhat regrettably, showcased some of his dance moves to the work experience girl. She told The Times,
“Um yeah, he has serious main character energy today. I get it, his life was a movie yesterday and I’m here for it. He is seen and he is valid. Still looks like my uncle dancing at my 21st though, ew”
At one point, Sam’s superior begged him to remove the wristband before an important meeting with a client. He told his boss that they were a package deal now. Take him at his wristbandiest or don’t take him at all.
To say it paid off was an understatement. As the early 40s client, they were meeting dragged his arse into the meeting wearing the same green beacon of living your best life on his wrist. By all accounts, it was a happy meeting that concluded with Sam blasting SLAM from his mobile phone
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?