Mineral Resources offers West Coast their hard rock lithium mine for a less hazardous training ground

Mineral Resources has responded to public perception that the training ground carrying their name in Lathlain may be a little too hard for the players. Resulting in a series of injuries to high-profile players.

Accordingly, the mining giant has offered West Coast access to their hard rock lithium mine in Wodgina which it believes will be a far softer surface. A source close to the sponsor told The Times,

“It’s a bit of a win/win situation, the hard rock mine will feel like a pillow compared to Mineral Resources park and during tackling drills some of those big bodies can help crush the Pegmatites and extract some lithium for the company”

West Coast has thanked their sponsor for the offer but maintains that there is nothing wrong with Mineral Resources Park. Further clarifying that their rate of injury is no higher than any other club at the moment.

This claim is strongly refuted by Davo from Bassendean. Who told The Times,

“Mate, my sister’s husband’s cousin’s doctor’s plumber knows a bloke who went to school with a bloke who caught a bus with a groundskeeper once and he reckons he told him that Mineral Resources Park could blunt a diamond drill bit”

It’s hard to dismiss such a conclusive dossier of evidence. That alone should be enough to move the team to the hard rock lithium mine. Karen from Mount Pleasant was in full agreement, adding,

“I think locking the boys into a FIFO camp would be great so they can be monitored. Clearly they are trying to enjoy their lives in their free time when they should be bloody putting in the work! 24/7!”

However, while the surface of the raw rock facility may be softer the heat out in Marble Bar could pose a problem.

Only time will tell.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

or become a Patron:

Become a Patron!