Defence lawyers licking their lips as Collingwood fans get on it

A big night of partying awaits Melbourne and Australia in general as thousands of Pie’s fans celebrate their team’s Grand Final victory over the Brisbane Lions this afternoon. Which of course is good news for bar owners, coke dealers, and of course, criminal defence lawyers.

We spoke to a criminal lawyer who said he’d been handing out business cards at the MCG this afternoon in anticipation. He added,

“I reckon I’ll be able to put a second storey on my house after the events of tonight. I can’t be sure but a number of supporters already seemed rather sauced. That was at midday. It’s going to be a long night!”

Another lawyer had the right idea to have some loyalty cards made up, with your 10th charge being on the house provided it was incurred during the Collingwood celebration which may last several days.

Police have been nervous since Collingwood got up over GWS but have made good use of the “crime free period” during the actual GF. With only a small number of glassings being recorded. A spokesperson for Vic Police told The Times,

“It seems they were slightly more interested in the game than crime and we have used those hours to get well prepared. It will be a hectic night and we already have a line of criminal defence lawyers waiting outside our stations to get dibs on the new clients”

The argument rages over whether a night of commiserative mayhem would be worse than a night of celebratory mayhem. Some argue it would make no real difference and the Pies making any Grand Final is good news for the legal eagles.

Others argue that a celebratory win is much scarier. Given how unsettling it is to see the famously angry supporter base smile. Likening it to some kind of Joker scene from The Dark Knight.

Everyone loves an AFL fairytale.

RELATED: Collingwood based dealer pulls up sore after his own personal Grand Final last night

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