Collingwood based dealer pulls up sore after his own personal Grand Final last night

Tom*, a Collingwood based bag supplier has described how he’s trained for years to be ready for a Collingwood premiership and feels like he actually played in the Grand Final last night.

Starting at about 5 pm, Tom was rushing around Melbourne with his Telegram notifications peppering his phone to levels he’d not seen before. He told The Times,

“I tell ya lad, I reckon playing in the actual granny would’ve been easier than what I went through last night. What a farken slog. Luckily I got my second wind at around 3 am was able to pull through for my boys. Full credit it to the Wobbler fan base though, insatiable appetites for victory and of course bags”

Not only did Tom put in a premiership performance last night but he’s backing it up today to help supply the fan base that never sleeps. We spoke to a happy customer who said he took out the Norm Smith of the night. Adding,

“My usual guy wasn’t answering and things were getting dire. I hadn’t had a line in about 5 minutes and was getting worried. Anyway I try this new guy and he happens to be at the same venue and delivered my bag there and then. That’s clutch. That’s the man you want on your team when the pressure is on”

Like all Grand Finals, Tom’s wasn’t without controversy. With bouners removing him from one pub after a simple tip off from the public. Tom told The Times,

“They didn’t see nuffink so I should have been given advantage and played on. I reckon they were just jealous of all the money I was making”

Hopefully, Tom can book himself in for an ice bath soon to recover from his huge performance.

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