Man Who Has Never Enjoyed New Year’s Eve Getting Amped For Another Shocker Tonight

Brayden can hardly contain his excitement as he mentally wills time to move faster so he can enjoy another disaster of a New Year’s Eve celebration that will inevitably end with him losing his shit after a 10th Uber cancels on him. 

Not one to learn from the mistakes of the past, Brayden has once again opted against a ticketed package and will be rolling into Northbridge with a large group of mates hoping the red carpet will be rolled out for them. He told The Times,

“Yeah, I couldn’t really get in anywhere good last time but that’s alright because a group of drunk Irish dudes started on us and I got blood all over my nice new white shirt. Hoping for more memories like that ay”

Brayden’s misso begged him to consider a few options she’d found but Brayden insisted that “planning” went against everything he stood for. Adding,

“You can’t plan for the best night of ya life, it just happens. I reckon I’m due cos it hasn’t happened yet ha ha. Can’t wait to line up for 45 minutes to get a drink. Farken yewwwww”

We spoke to Brayden’s mate who decided to sit this NYE out. He told The Times,

“Man, Bray just can’t let go. I keep telling him it’s a trash night and we should just smash some piss at my house and kick on for New Year’s Day. He said he’d rather end up hating life at 3 am trying to get home when his buzz has well and truly worn off. The good times, he called it”

Good luck to Brayden.

RELATED: Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions For Western Australians

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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