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Friday, April 03, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Police called to Perth Maccas after man explains his 5 Fillet-O-Fish order has nothing to do with Good Friday

    A Perth McDonalds has been left scrambling for answers today after a man boldly entered the store and ordered 5 Fillet-O-Fish burgers without even a…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Local Seagulls Thank Catholic Guilt As They Prepare For Their Biggest Day Of The Year

    Good Friday is the official seagull grand final with over 500% more fish & chip munching families to terrorise in their endless pursuit for a…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Local mum reconsiders catholic guilt as cost-of-living means ol mate Cap’n Birds Eye is coming for lunch

    Local mum Patricia has seriously questioned her annual display of faith after realising that the weekend budget doesn’t allow for the frills of bougie fish…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    WA to Invoke Emergency Powers to Divert Froffs to Those Who Forgot to Stock Up Before Good Friday

    Roger Cook has called a special press conference to announce WA will be invoking emergency powers to stop the indignity of the Good Friday booze…

    Belle April 2, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    NASA Reveals Artemis Program Aims to Establish New Perth Suburb on Moon

    Plans for the latest Perth suburb in the ever-expansive sprawl have moved one step closer after the successful launch of the Orion as part of…

    Belle April 2, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

Albany worried it hasn’t gone hard enough on roundabouts 

Belle April 19, 2024

The City of Albany has woken up in a cold sweat this morning over fears they might not have enough roundabouts.  The notorious traffic-light-dodgers have…

View More Albany worried it hasn’t gone hard enough on roundabouts 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Local sicko doesn’t want Shepard avocado season to end

Belle April 18, 2024

The nation’s sickest puppies have entered a state of seasonal depression as Shepard avocado season comes to an end. Typically, well-adjusted human beings favour the…

View More Local sicko doesn’t want Shepard avocado season to end
From the Zoo Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

IN FOCUS: Dealing With a Mate With Invisible Lats Syndrome

Belle April 18, 2024

Invisible Lats Syndrome (ILS) typically affects males aged between 18-45 and can strike after their very first weights session or purchase of Muay Thai shorts.…

View More IN FOCUS: Dealing With a Mate With Invisible Lats Syndrome
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Perth couple decide to mix it up and celebrate anniversary at C Restaurant 

Belle April 17, 2024

In a crazy act of spontaneity, a Perth couple has breached new ground and done what no other couple have done before and booked a…

View More Perth couple decide to mix it up and celebrate anniversary at C Restaurant 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Relationship with FIFO bloke can’t proceed until he’s been cleared from every “are we dating the same person?” FB group

Belle April 17, 2024

Everyone knows the foundation to any healthy relationship is distrust, paranoia, and public shaming. So you can only imagine how quickly Krystal consulted her local…

View More Relationship with FIFO bloke can’t proceed until he’s been cleared from every “are we dating the same person?” FB group
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Man regrets bringing an Ozito to a Milwaukee fight

Belle April 17, 2024

A notorious weekend warrior has failed to bond with his new neighbours after hearing a bit of DIY going on over the weekend. At approximately…

View More Man regrets bringing an Ozito to a Milwaukee fight

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Police called to Perth Maccas after man explains his 5 Fillet-O-Fish order has nothing to do with Good Friday
  • Local Seagulls Thank Catholic Guilt As They Prepare For Their Biggest Day Of The Year
  • Local mum reconsiders catholic guilt as cost-of-living means ol mate Cap’n Birds Eye is coming for lunch
  • WA to Invoke Emergency Powers to Divert Froffs to Those Who Forgot to Stock Up Before Good Friday
  • NASA Reveals Artemis Program Aims to Establish New Perth Suburb on Moon
  • Albanese Expected to Remind Nation West Coast Are Back in Tonight’s Address

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