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Friday, April 03, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Police called to Perth Maccas after man explains his 5 Fillet-O-Fish order has nothing to do with Good Friday

    A Perth McDonalds has been left scrambling for answers today after a man boldly entered the store and ordered 5 Fillet-O-Fish burgers without even a…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Local Seagulls Thank Catholic Guilt As They Prepare For Their Biggest Day Of The Year

    Good Friday is the official seagull grand final with over 500% more fish & chip munching families to terrorise in their endless pursuit for a…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Local mum reconsiders catholic guilt as cost-of-living means ol mate Cap’n Birds Eye is coming for lunch

    Local mum Patricia has seriously questioned her annual display of faith after realising that the weekend budget doesn’t allow for the frills of bougie fish…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    WA to Invoke Emergency Powers to Divert Froffs to Those Who Forgot to Stock Up Before Good Friday

    Roger Cook has called a special press conference to announce WA will be invoking emergency powers to stop the indignity of the Good Friday booze…

    Belle April 2, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    NASA Reveals Artemis Program Aims to Establish New Perth Suburb on Moon

    Plans for the latest Perth suburb in the ever-expansive sprawl have moved one step closer after the successful launch of the Orion as part of…

    Belle April 2, 2026
    View More

Featured From the Zoo

Top 5 Things To Do On Boxing Day

Belle December 26, 2022

Purge your body of its sins – while it’s not in the Bible, it is clear that smokin’ Joe and V-Plate’s Mary wanted people to…

View More Top 5 Things To Do On Boxing Day
BREAKING NEWS

Man Who Forgot To Buy Booze For Today Has An Offer You Can’t Refuse

Belle December 25, 2022

In classic form, WA man Luke has once again failed to adequately plan for one of the few days of the year that bottlos are…

View More Man Who Forgot To Buy Booze For Today Has An Offer You Can’t Refuse
From the Zoo Featured

IN FOCUS: Lynx Africa Packs – The Gift That Lets Everyone Know You Still Wear Silk Boxers

Belle December 25, 2022 Bogan

There are a few sounds that are synonymous with X-Mas – the seasonal croonings of Michael Buble, the drunken slur of an excited uncle and…

View More IN FOCUS: Lynx Africa Packs – The Gift That Lets Everyone Know You Still Wear Silk Boxers
BREAKING NEWS Featured Lifestyle

REPORT: Hardest Part of Carrying A Block On Your Shoulder Is Ensuring Southern Cross Tatt Is Visible

Belle December 23, 2022 Bogan

The correct way to carry a heavy block of bush chook has tormented mankind since the creation of froffs. Especially when the southern cross tattoo came…

View More REPORT: Hardest Part of Carrying A Block On Your Shoulder Is Ensuring Southern Cross Tatt Is Visible
WA Culture & Notable Events Party & Entertainment

The Down South Bogan

Belle December 23, 2022 BoganDouth

Hodgey nonchalantly shoves some clothes in a bag while his missus carefully packs for their long weekend. Hodgey slips into his Dickies’ shorts, black Ed…

View More The Down South Bogan
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Woman Sensationally “Quits Facebook”, Returns 12 Hours Later – Community Shocked

Belle December 23, 2022

Close contacts & Facebook acquaintances were left to pick up the pieces yesterday when Tamara, a local drama-seeking land dugong announced she was quitting social…

View More Woman Sensationally “Quits Facebook”, Returns 12 Hours Later – Community Shocked

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Police called to Perth Maccas after man explains his 5 Fillet-O-Fish order has nothing to do with Good Friday
  • Local Seagulls Thank Catholic Guilt As They Prepare For Their Biggest Day Of The Year
  • Local mum reconsiders catholic guilt as cost-of-living means ol mate Cap’n Birds Eye is coming for lunch
  • WA to Invoke Emergency Powers to Divert Froffs to Those Who Forgot to Stock Up Before Good Friday
  • NASA Reveals Artemis Program Aims to Establish New Perth Suburb on Moon
  • Albanese Expected to Remind Nation West Coast Are Back in Tonight’s Address

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