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Saturday, April 04, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Police called to Perth Maccas after man explains his 5 Fillet-O-Fish order has nothing to do with Good Friday

    A Perth McDonalds has been left scrambling for answers today after a man boldly entered the store and ordered 5 Fillet-O-Fish burgers without even a…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Local Seagulls Thank Catholic Guilt As They Prepare For Their Biggest Day Of The Year

    Good Friday is the official seagull grand final with over 500% more fish & chip munching families to terrorise in their endless pursuit for a…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Local mum reconsiders catholic guilt as cost-of-living means ol mate Cap’n Birds Eye is coming for lunch

    Local mum Patricia has seriously questioned her annual display of faith after realising that the weekend budget doesn’t allow for the frills of bougie fish…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    WA to Invoke Emergency Powers to Divert Froffs to Those Who Forgot to Stock Up Before Good Friday

    Roger Cook has called a special press conference to announce WA will be invoking emergency powers to stop the indignity of the Good Friday booze…

    Belle April 2, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    NASA Reveals Artemis Program Aims to Establish New Perth Suburb on Moon

    Plans for the latest Perth suburb in the ever-expansive sprawl have moved one step closer after the successful launch of the Orion as part of…

    Belle April 2, 2026
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BREAKING NEWS Local

Ellenbrook Kid Laughed Off Santa’s Lap After Asking For a Completed Trainline For X-Mas

Belle December 16, 2022

Young Ellenbrook child Towbee made an absolute fool of his little self after climbing on Santa’s knee and telling him what he wanted for X-Mas,…

View More Ellenbrook Kid Laughed Off Santa’s Lap After Asking For a Completed Trainline For X-Mas
BREAKING NEWS

Perth Man Already 2 ½ X-Mas Hams Down Ready To Admit He May Have A Problem

Belle December 15, 2022

Perth man Ted has been balls deep in a X-Mas ham frenzy for the better part of 2 weeks and his loved ones are beginning…

View More Perth Man Already 2 ½ X-Mas Hams Down Ready To Admit He May Have A Problem
Featured Lifestyle, Love & Parenting

Mrs Perth X-Mas Shopping

Belle December 15, 2022

Trish has turned more people into online shoppers than the Rona. Why? Because sharing a multi-retail facility with her is about as pleasant as being…

View More Mrs Perth X-Mas Shopping
Party & Entertainment

Ms Work X-Mas Party

Belle December 14, 2022 Party

In an act of ill-advised booze-haggery, Jodee necks two bottles of Yellowglen Pink while getting ready for her work Christmas party. She squeezed into a…

View More Ms Work X-Mas Party
Featured From the Zoo

5 Secret Santa Participants That’ll Ruin the Magic This Year

Belle December 14, 2022

The Neglectful Shitbag – Everyone knows this guy. They couldn’t organise a skinny dip in the genetic pool at a Collie Family X-mas bash. In…

View More 5 Secret Santa Participants That’ll Ruin the Magic This Year
BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Dhufish Ban Expected To Deplete Stocks Of Fresh Tinder Photos In 2023

Belle December 13, 2022

Critics of WA’s fiercely contested legislation to help safeguard the survival of local demersal fish such as dhueys and snapper has the nation’s horndogs concerned.…

View More Dhufish Ban Expected To Deplete Stocks Of Fresh Tinder Photos In 2023

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Police called to Perth Maccas after man explains his 5 Fillet-O-Fish order has nothing to do with Good Friday
  • Local Seagulls Thank Catholic Guilt As They Prepare For Their Biggest Day Of The Year
  • Local mum reconsiders catholic guilt as cost-of-living means ol mate Cap’n Birds Eye is coming for lunch
  • WA to Invoke Emergency Powers to Divert Froffs to Those Who Forgot to Stock Up Before Good Friday
  • NASA Reveals Artemis Program Aims to Establish New Perth Suburb on Moon
  • Albanese Expected to Remind Nation West Coast Are Back in Tonight’s Address

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