Young Ellenbrook child Towbee made an absolute fool of his little self after climbing on Santa’s knee and telling him what he wanted for X-Mas, a functional Ellenbrook train line with regular services and perhaps a coupla express options.
Santa tried to lighten the mood by asking the kid to be a bit more realistic with his expectations. Alas, young Towbee repeated his wish to a now howling crowd. There was undeniably a savage energy in the air as an old mate yelled out that he wished his dick would work for X-Mas. Eliciting roaring laughter.
We spoke to a witness at the scene who said he’d never cringed harder,
“I chucked my Maccas cup at the kid. An Ellenbrook traino in 2 weeks? Try 2 decades you little shit. I’m not proud of myself but I admit I hit the floor belly laughing at this absurd wish. Does this kid understand the plight of the Ellenbrook resident?”
We spoke to Towbee’s father who blamed himself for missing the mark so terribly with managing his son’s expectations. He told The Times,
“I think it’s because he hears his mother and I complaining ruthlessly about being overlooked again and again. They can build the bloody airport train so why not ours which has been promised since bloody dinosaurs were walking the Earth!”
To give some perspective at just how ridiculous this claim was, a nearby Butler kid told Santa his wish was for “it to come home”. To which was met with some light chuckling and a few comments.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?