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Wednesday, November 05, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Pilbara Man Establishes Dominance by Refusing to Shoo Flies from Face In Front of Perth Coworkers

    Being born in the Pilbara, Rory swallowed 3 whole flies before he’d even left his mother’s womb as an infant. Some say the additional protein…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Tradie notoriously careless with his screws & nails admits he’s on the payroll of big tyre

    A local Perth tradesman who is thought to be responsible for over 1000 ruined tyres per month has finally admitted his patented carelessness with nails…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Ageing millennial never feels older than when looking at a festival line up

    A festival poster stuck to a fence has once again ruined an ageing millennials day as he did his best to recognise more than 1…

    Belle November 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times Business Entertainment

    Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning

    A Perth bogan who found himself over refreshed and dangerously gee’d up has been counting his blessings while sitting in his piss soaked trousers at…

    Belle November 4, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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BREAKING NEWS Featured

WA Under the Pump to Discover Fire Before it Can Power 2021 Grand Final

Belle August 26, 2021

Should Perth be given the all-clear to host the AFL Grand Final it will need to discover the ability to produce one of modern civilisations…

View More WA Under the Pump to Discover Fire Before it Can Power 2021 Grand Final
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Claremont Quarter

Belle August 26, 2021

By 2006, Claremont could no longer handle the local arcade’s inability to accurately reflect their sense of self-worth. It, therefore, engaged the Hawaiian group and…

View More IN FOCUS: Claremont Quarter
BREAKING NEWS Featured

AFL Confirm 2021 WILL Be the First Grand Final to be Played in a Cave

Belle August 25, 2021

AFL CEO, Gill confirmed that WA and its society of cave-dwelling, primordial soup-sippers will be the destination for the grand final if Melbourne continues to…

View More AFL Confirm 2021 WILL Be the First Grand Final to be Played in a Cave
BREAKING NEWS Featured

New Mad Max to be Filmed in WA After “Convincing” Caravan Border Incident

Belle August 25, 2021

A woman towing a caravan yesterday decided that rather than calmly go through the checkpoint she would royally fark her shit up by trying to…

View More New Mad Max to be Filmed in WA After “Convincing” Caravan Border Incident
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Perth Warned – Only 2 Years to Prepare for Ellenbrook Assimilation

Belle August 24, 2021

Perth residents have been warned to start preparing for the inevitable assimilation of Perth with the micronation Ellenbrook as the Metronet project expects the traino…

View More Perth Warned – Only 2 Years to Prepare for Ellenbrook Assimilation
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Hillarys Property Sales Now Conditional on Local NIMBY Approval

Belle August 22, 2021

Hillarys NIMBYs have had an absolute gutful of new homeowners having the audacity to move into their suburb and simply “do as they please” with…

View More Hillarys Property Sales Now Conditional on Local NIMBY Approval

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Pilbara Man Establishes Dominance by Refusing to Shoo Flies from Face In Front of Perth Coworkers
  • Tradie notoriously careless with his screws & nails admits he’s on the payroll of big tyre
  • Ageing millennial never feels older than when looking at a festival line up
  • Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning
  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
  • Leering Tradie Alleges He Was Catfished After Driver Of P-Plated Suzuki Swift Turned Out To Be Middle Aged Man
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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