New Versace Sunnies Owner Confident They’ll Make a Big Splash At The Magistrates Court

Dielyn thanks his lucky stars that the timing of his arrest for possession with intent to sell or supply matched up perfectly with his recent purchase of fake Versace sunglasses off the internet. 

A self-styled, “hard man” and “knower of bikies”, Dielyn has had a less than an illustrious career as a seller of narcotics – but does that matter when you think you look the part?

Dielyn has spent every single dollar he’s made selling rocks in the dirty south on a selection of items that would make a Rocko single mother’s womb throb in anticipation for another deadshit baby. 

A gold-plated chain. Neck and wrist, biatch. An oversized “gold” Nixon watch. More low-quality ink than an inbred squid-bukake and of course, a pair of Versaces ordered off the net for $20. You see a man like that and you HAVE to ask what is in his knock-off LV manbag. 

Well, such a question did come up recently as Dielyn was bailed up outside a popular dirty south pub trying to sell a coupla points to some UFC fans. 

For such a “connected” and “unfuckable-with” guy he sure gets rolled a lot buying gear off career crims. As soon as the customers realised how bad the gear was a fight erupted soon after and the police were called. 

No matter how shit the merchandise he gets, the charges he copped are very real. Charges Dielyn is very confident he’ll beat given how fresh his swag is. No Magistrate in Perf would dare mess with such a player. 

Speaking to The Bell Tower Times, Dielyn’s current squeeze told us,

“Dielyn isn’t scared of a little charge like this. You look at a man with knock-off Versace eyewear and you think, Woah, this lad is heavy. At least that’s what he tells me when he made me promise I’d agree to sign for his bail”

Move over Michael Jackson’s 1986 classic, here’s who’s bad. Although, his duty lawyer sang a different tune, 

“I’m begging him not to wear those stupid fkn glasses into the courtroom. He’s a small-time offender, he’ll get off with a fine and maybe a suspended sentence. Let’s face it, even The West Australian passed up on writing an article about him, and they’d get a stiffy over a bikie getting a parking ticket”

Nevertheless, Dielyn intends to attend court looking like a Wish version of Troy Mercanti and has no doubt in his mind the judicial system will carry him out on their shoulders. 

Lay off the pipe Dielyn. 

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