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The Bell Tower Times

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Thursday, August 13, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Shein to open first WA store at Tamala Park after discovering all its stock is already there

    Fast fashion retail behemoth and environmental vandal Shein is licking its lips after learning Tamala Park as a waste facility is coming to an end.…

    Belle August 13, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Technology & Finance

    Trevor named primary suspect in subsea cable damage off Perth coast

    In a shocking development, beloved tiger shark Trevor from Mullaloo has been hauled in for questioning over damage down to two subsea data cables off…

    Belle August 12, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    New WA Police jet capable of reaching Two Rocks in just four hours

    WA Police’s brand spankin’ Pilatus PC-24 will allow up to 8 highly trained sprawl officers to get to exotic locations like Two Rocks in just…

    Belle August 11, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Perth rejoices that there’s more ice on our windscreens than our wastewater this morning

    Perth has awoken to the glorious news that for once, our wastewater doesn’t have the highest concentration of ice in our city, our windscreens do.…

    Belle August 11, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Perth under pressure to find new excuses to avoid visiting Freo mates as traffic bridge nears early completion

    News broke yesterday that the Freo Traffic Bridge was several months ahead of schedule and is expected before Christmas. While this is fantastic news for…

    Belle August 10, 2026
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Belle's Lounge Featured

Workplace grubs and kitchen bandits

Belle February 21, 2022

A disproportionate amount of tension is caused by communal space swine every day in workplaces around the world. These dirty dawgs treat any shared area…

View More Workplace grubs and kitchen bandits
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Not Posting a Photo Of Red Sunset Classified As Treason Against The Nation of Westralia

Belle February 19, 2022 InstagramWA Culture

The Sunset Commander has declared that any Westralian not gawking in awe at the red sunset or sunrise this week and posting a photo to…

View More Not Posting a Photo Of Red Sunset Classified As Treason Against The Nation of Westralia
Belle's Lounge Featured

Job Dodging 101

Belle February 18, 2022

Like any true art form, job dodging must be executed with nuance and grace. If it’s done poorly you will shine like a glaring cold…

View More Job Dodging 101
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Western Suburbs Deploy Anti Blow-In Measures After “Poor People” Suspected of Bringing In Virus

Belle February 17, 2022

Pursuant to an emergency meeting of Perth’s rich, blow-ins wishing to pass through any Western Suburb boundary will now be forced to meet a dress…

View More Western Suburbs Deploy Anti Blow-In Measures After “Poor People” Suspected of Bringing In Virus
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Evaporative Air Conditioner Owner In Denial About Dryness of Perth Heat

Belle February 16, 2022

Bob is currently in deep denial about the efficacy of his evaporative air conditioner as it battles to cool his double brick home in the…

View More Evaporative Air Conditioner Owner In Denial About Dryness of Perth Heat
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Clive To Bring Legal Action Against Himself For Damaging His Reputation

Belle February 15, 2022

In an Australian first, Clive Palmer has sensationally instructed his solicitors to file an action against himself for damaging his reputation.  A spokesperson for Clive…

View More Clive To Bring Legal Action Against Himself For Damaging His Reputation

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Shein to open first WA store at Tamala Park after discovering all its stock is already there
  • Trevor named primary suspect in subsea cable damage off Perth coast
  • New WA Police jet capable of reaching Two Rocks in just four hours
  • Perth rejoices that there’s more ice on our windscreens than our wastewater this morning
  • Perth under pressure to find new excuses to avoid visiting Freo mates as traffic bridge nears early completion
  • Collingwood lost in High Wycombe after boarding wrong train from Perth Airport

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