Tradie’s Liver Praying He’s Not Rained Off Site Again Tomorrow

A Kelmscott tradie’s liver has sent an SOS signal to the man’s body in the way of unsettling pains after he spent another day rained off site and getting smashed at the pub.

It’s the second day in a row of this nonsense and the vital organ’s message is crystal clear for the seasoned campaigner – “not another day of 12-8 drinking, man, please”.

A message echoed by the tradie’s bowel as the extended drinking session has allowed the king to fit an extra Roota value meal into his daily routine. Bringing his total Rippa count to over 15 a week.

We understand Trayler & his liver have an uneasy truce. With the liver agreeing to be blasted in the arse. Between 3-8 each day provider Trayler fits in a token glass of water while working.

Trayler, on the other hand, feels a bit of diversity will be good for his whinging dogovacunt liver. 

By 5 pm, Trayler was already ordering 2 Jack & Cokes at a time. Solid refreshment in between going apeshit at the TAB screen. He told The Times,

“Me mum always said pressure makes diamonds and I’m turning me liver into a farken blood, pink, super diamond or some shit ha ha, get a Jacks up ya, ya dog”

Although it seems Trayler’s liver has found an unlikely ally in Trayler’s amygdala in the prefrontal cortex of his brain. His amygdala says,

“I’m the part of him that encourages risks but ffs I just can’t condone another bare back session in the toilet or another drive home. This guy needs to listen to his liver and I’d imagine his urinary tract system. What a pig”

With rain expected tomorrow, it’s not looking good for Trayler’s liver. Neither does the $500 he just won on the dogs.

Pray for him.

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