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Thursday, October 30, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

    Authorities are suspicious of a little shop that mysteriously popped up in Hakea prison ahead of the 2026 smoking ban.  Prison officers have said the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    AFL vows to not rest until it has alienated every single fan with needless rule changes 

    Despite its best efforts, the AFL still has a legion of fans who insist on watching the great game and it irks the living bejeezus…

    Belle October 29, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Local chode reckons he’s got what it takes to be a real estate agent after expertly opening a door

    A local chode from your high school has had a profound epiphany today after he managed to open a door earlier this year.  After the…

    Belle October 29, 2025
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

West Coast fan quietly confident other fanbases won’t bring up the AFL assistance package in future arguments 

Belle September 30, 2025

A West Coast Eagles fan has told his friends today that he is quietly confident no other supporter base will bring up the assistance package…

View More West Coast fan quietly confident other fanbases won’t bring up the AFL assistance package in future arguments 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

Alcoa to save millions on closing & scrapping Kwinana refinery by just leaving it unguarded over night 

Belle September 30, 2025

Alcoa has assured its shareholders that the process of closing and scrapping the Kwinana refinery will not be an economic burden to the company.  Typically,…

View More Alcoa to save millions on closing & scrapping Kwinana refinery by just leaving it unguarded over night 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Man throws himself to the mercy of returning down south traffic to unwind after a day at the Perth Royal Show

Belle September 29, 2025

A Perth man has decided he needs to enjoy a comparatively relaxing activity after enduring the horrors of the Perth Royal Show. His senses have…

View More Man throws himself to the mercy of returning down south traffic to unwind after a day at the Perth Royal Show
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Geelong formally request an assistance package from the AFL

Belle September 28, 2025

Geelong claim more has to be done to even the playing field after being hammered six ways to Sunday at yesterday’s grand final.  Coach Scott…

View More Geelong formally request an assistance package from the AFL
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Snoop reverts back to his 2012 Snoop Lion phase due to very recent events

Belle September 27, 2025

Snoop has been accused of bandwagoning after reverting back to his 2012 “Snoop Lion” phase that he adopted after a life changing trip to Jamaica. …

View More Snoop reverts back to his 2012 Snoop Lion phase due to very recent events
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

Clive Palmer now preparing to sue the entire Planet after $300 Billion fail against Australia

Belle September 27, 2025

News broke today that an international arbitrary tribunal dismissed Clive’s $300 billion claim against Australia. Back in 2023, Titanic enthusiast Palmer sought a ruling from…

View More Clive Palmer now preparing to sue the entire Planet after $300 Billion fail against Australia

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced
  • AFL vows to not rest until it has alienated every single fan with needless rule changes 
  • Local chode reckons he’s got what it takes to be a real estate agent after expertly opening a door
  • Thousands of FIFOs made redundant after BHP decides to automate boot stomping & chair dragging

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