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Sunday, April 12, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Geelong arrives at wrong oval after being drawn to available farming land

    Oofff, the mighty Geelong Cats have found themselves caught in a farm-trance on their way to Norwood oval this morning. Despite clearly putting in the…

    Belle April 12, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Blow for Flagmantle as Mason Cox drafted to America

    Flagmantle’s 3 ruck dream has hit a major snag after new recruit Mason Cox was drafted to America pursuant to new laws enacted by their…

    Belle April 11, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    AFP drop Ben Roberts-Smith prosecution after some bloke from Mandurah tells them they have fark all

    The AFP has sensationally dropped all charges against Ben Roberts-Smith after some bloke from Mandurah launched a grammarless tirade against them on Facebook today. In…

    Belle April 10, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Middle-aged Scarborough gent confident girls will never question his age if he never stops wearing surf wear 

    A Scabs bachelor on the wrong side of 40 is confident that the girls half his age he habitually tries to converse with are none-the-wiser…

    Belle April 10, 2026
    View More
  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    New Servo Supply Fears as Cargo Ship Full of Cheese Sausages Stuck in Strait of Hormuz

    First, it was fuel, now it’s something much bleaker for humanity – a shortage of cheese sausages is imminent in Australia after a ship full…

    Belle April 9, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

Government threatens fuel companies with $100M price gouging fine or two for $189.99M

Belle March 12, 2026

The Australian Government has announced tough new penalties for any fuel companies thinking of price gouging customers during this period of global instability. The Government…

View More Government threatens fuel companies with $100M price gouging fine or two for $189.99M
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Moot Shortages Imminent as Cost Of Emitting Diesel Soot Soars

Belle March 12, 2026

Experts warn that the rising price of diesel is going to have a serious impact on the “moot” getting abilities of WA’s most obnoxious soot…

View More Moot Shortages Imminent as Cost Of Emitting Diesel Soot Soars
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Perth Man Vows To Drive Himself Into Financial Ruin Before Taking Public Transport

Belle March 11, 2026

“No”, Jackson responded to his partner’s 15 minute impassioned plea to release some pressure from the family budget by relying on a little public transport…

View More Perth Man Vows To Drive Himself Into Financial Ruin Before Taking Public Transport
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

Man Ostracised From Caravan Park for Practising Reversing Before Arrival

Belle March 11, 2026

A Perth man has faced the full force of weekend warrior caravaner fury after he let slip to fellow holidaymakers that he’d actually practised reversing…

View More Man Ostracised From Caravan Park for Practising Reversing Before Arrival
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

Mandurah develops space program after just 2 days without “certain websites”

Belle March 10, 2026

A mere 48 hours after big Wank decided to clamp down on Australia, Mandurah has announced it will be launching its first manned spaceship to…

View More Mandurah develops space program after just 2 days without “certain websites”
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

New Freo Traffic Bridge fully completed after just 48 hours without “certain websites”

Belle March 10, 2026

A likely consequence of the Pornocalypse has been a major boost in the productivity of tradesman who are though to spend over half their day…

View More New Freo Traffic Bridge fully completed after just 48 hours without “certain websites”

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Geelong arrives at wrong oval after being drawn to available farming land
  • Blow for Flagmantle as Mason Cox drafted to America
  • AFP drop Ben Roberts-Smith prosecution after some bloke from Mandurah tells them they have fark all
  • Middle-aged Scarborough gent confident girls will never question his age if he never stops wearing surf wear 
  • New Servo Supply Fears as Cargo Ship Full of Cheese Sausages Stuck in Strait of Hormuz
  • Trump claims to have negotiated a ceasefire between Thornlie & Maddington

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