credit: Aaron McPolin

Enjoy a wonderful day out in nostalgic Morley – the suburb that holds a strategic position as the gateway been the snobby North and the dirty North.

Getting Around – to truly access Morley you will need a vehicle that can transport you comfortably back to the 1980s. So you really can’t go past a DeLorean.

Top Experiences in Morley

Get retro – if resisting modernity is WA’s Mastercraft then consider Morley our Leonardo da Vinci. Whether it’s 10 pin bowling, shredding some kids at Leisure Island, buying a compact disk at Sanity or breaking your arsehole trying to majestically glide at the Rollerdrome, Morley has you covered. Immerse yourself in the suburb that time forgot.

Pay your respects at the site of Australia’s last Blockbuster – of course, some stars burn too bright. Blockbuster Morley refused to put the cue of progress back in the rack of modern media consumerism and was the last Blockbuster standing in Australia.

Make sure you swing past the old site and leave that 15-year-old copy of Tekken that you never returned at their doorstep. It wasn’t completely your fault they closed, but you sure as shit didn’t help you late fee dodging torrent-dick.

Do similar at the site of one of the last Sizzlers – Australia has a habit of not knowing what its got until its gone. After it was announced Sizzler was closing its remaining shops its trade skyrocketed to near 1990 levels. Back when gluttony was king.

Spare a thought for all the bingo-wing-bovine and Croc-wearing heifers who will no longer be able to eat until they shit themselves on the car ride home. Vale.

Witness a youth fight at Galleria – Head down to the Galleria bus station to see some truants put forward an excellent case for retroactive abortion. Watch on as a couple of youths punch their way to moderate social media fame and if you’re feeling lucky have a bet. Of course, the smart odds are never on either fighter to win, but, for society to lose.

Have a cultural experience at Coventry Village – What happens when an unstoppable multicultural presence meets an unmovable bogan mass? Coventry Village of course. Where else can you combine the magic of Asian street food & markets with the bogan Meccas of Spud Shed, Hogs Breath & Red Dot?

You haven’t seen this kind of East meets West fusion since your last stay in Kuta. Come for the great food, stay for the clash of cultures.

Local Delicacies – Mrs Mac’s head office is in Morley so obviously you’ll have to storm in and demand to be shown some respect. You didn’t consume over 150 pies a year for a decade to not be treated like a VIP.

Fashion Trends – This is a perfect chance to revisit the fashion from yesteryear. Frosted tips, hair gel, Globes, skate belts and of course baggy O’Neil jeans with a thin coloured stripe down each leg.

Or perhaps there is an old Kappa tracksuit yearning for a call up to the major league. Dress as if you’ve just been released from prison after serving a 20 year stretch and haven’t had a chance to upgrade your threads – parole-chic.

Testimonial

“Morley is really all about the people. I can’t believe we saw the same guy who was demanding a refund for his sweet & sour pork at Coventry, also crop dusting at the Galleria food court. Boy, did he have a big appetite for a slice of Morley” – Rex H

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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