Go swimming in a surprise pool – surprise pools is one thing Perth does exceptionally well. Thanks to the ridiculously shit drainage across the city, you never know which little piece of road will become an impromptu pool!
If getting a few laps in isn’t your thing then you can always drive your little shitbox into the depths and let the sweet droplets of insurance fraud water your fortunes. Worried they will catch on? Don’t be, their opinion on Perth drivers is so low they won’t even bat an eyelid about this not being genuine.
Get swarmed by Toweys – as soon as you feel that first drop of rain fall you can almost feel the palpable energy of every towey in the City getting a raging bingle-boner at the same time.
Enjoy the feeling of being constantly stalked by toweys and once you have a little wet road royal rumble with a few other cars you’ll get to enjoy the feeding frenzy that ensues. What an experience! More on these fellers HERE.
Brighten a farmers day – sometimes the best way to have a nice day is to brighten someone else’s week. Take a nice photo or video of the rainfall in your Perth metro location and send it to a farmer you know. After all, rain in Perth is one of their major pleasures.
Surrender up your car – car ownership can be pesky can’t it? Having to bloody store the thing, fill it up with expensive petrol and all that other malarky. So why not answer the call of your hoon people and get that bad boy impounded. One skid at a time.
You know the old saying,” rain, rain go away or Robbo’s commy will get impounded for another 28 days”. So go out there and unburden yourself.
Test your umbrella in the mighty Terrace corridor of broken dreams – there is a special spot reserved in Valhalla for any warrior who draws their umbrella and survives the ordeal on St Georges Terrace.
Does eternal glory await you? Or will you be reduced to yet another moron covered dipstick who thought their cheap piece of shit umbrella was up to the task? More on the gauntlet HERE.
Enjoying a thorough staring from a Mediterranean gent watering his driveway – take a trip out to Balcatta or Spearwood and treat yourself to an ocular mauling from your favourite Mediterranean gentleman giving his concrete a second coat of water.
Some might think watering the driveway is pointless in the rain but they clearly know nothing about watering driveways. It’s the perfect time to do it. Why? You ask too many questions you stupida boy. More on this gent HERE.
RELATED: CLASSIC PERTH RECIPES: The Belmont Stew
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
