OPINION: Get the fark out of my way!

G’day shitfabrains, Robbo here, got a wild idea for youse lot, get the fark out of my way when I’m driving on the road! Or Else!

Everyday I have to share the road with lesser men and *takes a deep pained breath* women. None of youse hold a candle to my driving ability. Youse are all fark all. So when you see Robbo coming take immediate and evasive action alright?

Now I reckon you might be saying that’s a bit rich but you don’t get it. I first knew I was the best driver in WA when I passed me driving test without actually taking it. 

The instructor was waiting out the front of the licencing centre and saw me slot a reverse parra one handed while downing a bloody cold bush chook. He said, fark that bloke’s shit hot, get him on the roads immediately. 

There’s ya background on me. I’m such a good driver the jealous pigs have taken me licence off me 7 times. All because they can’t drive for shit and now have to drive a Skoda. Mate, I could chop them in the Nissan Pulsar that I had to downgrade to because of ongoing legal bills ha ha. 

I’ve banged 76 chicks (real hot, massive cans) in my car while driving and I still merge with perfection. Name one other cunny in WA who can match that? Youse all merge like your waiting in the line of the micropeen convention. I take what’s mine when I want it. I don’t care if you let me in. 

Now let’s get down to brass tax. I notice some of you shitbirds get an attitude when I drive up your arse in the right lane. Let me spell this out for you – the right lane is for CRIME. Don’t matter if you’re going the speed limit, I answer to a higher law of the road – Robbo’s law. 

I reckon I’ve presented me argument with nuance. So if you still can’t get it through your thick skull you can meet me at the pie section of your local Vibe for a little re-education. 

So in summary, I am the only bloke in the entire state who knows how to drive and I expect that to be respected. 

Hooroo, losers.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?