Man who failed year 12 exams regrets missing opportunity to waste 4 years, accrue massive debt and be left with low job prospects

Kids across Western Australia are enjoying the rite of passage of having an unreasonable amount of pressure heaped on them to achieve great things in their end-of-year 12 exams.

We spoke to a man who failed to perform during his exams and says he lays awake wondering what could have been every night. Adding,

“You know, I just wish I’d pissed away 4 years of my life studying a degree that would ultimately take me nowhere. Oh and accrue a massive debt in the process. I feel like a failure”

It’s a message hammered into them from an early age, good ATAR = good life. However, studies have shown that making a dog’s breakfast of your exams can be infinitely beneficial to your lifestyle.

We spoke to a researcher who told The Times,

“You might be thinking your life is over if you don’t manage to score a spot in a Notre Dame commerce course. Quite the opposite, in fact, you’ll probably struggle to get a decent job and earn just enough so that you have to pay off your enormous debt, that ain’t living!”

To prove the theory, we tracked down a former student who didn’t deal with the pressure of exams well. Accordingly, he butchered his tests and ended up getting a trade. He told The Times,

“Yeah, sometimes I wonder what it would’ve been like to do 5 years of law only to get a glorified legal assistant role for $40k a year with no real prospect of pay rises. Then I go and have a fang around the Swan River on my brand new SeaDoo and convince myself that the 3 investment properties I own now is the proof in the pudding”

On the other side of the coin, an unmotivated student in their final year of an Arts degree wonders if they had made a mistake. They told The Times,

“WTF am I going to do with a politics & sociology degree? Fostering a love of thinking and learning in THIS economy? I just want a fkn house man”

That certainly settles it. So remind your kids that should things not go to plan there’s always work up on the moines for an eager beaver.

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