Local Kiwi won’t hesitate to “bring it up” in the face of Aussie gloating 

Perth Kiwi and cricket fan has declared he’s fully prepared to go nuclear to shut down any Aussie gloating over the sensational victory in last night’s World Cup match.

Of course, James is referring to the infamous 1981 incident that saw Greg & Trevor Chappell collectively destroy Australia’s reputation in one roll of the underarm. It’s an act that will haunt this nation for the rest of its days.

Nursing a bit of a hangover after a massive night/morning for New Zealand sport, James told The Times,

“I’ll try to lay low for most of the day. It’s not easy trying to avoid both Aussies and Saffas in Perth but when I do I’ll shut down any Aussie cockiness by making an underarm bowling motion and calling them a pack of cheats”

Similarly, James has also made it clear that he won’t hesitate to ask a Saffa why their folks moved to Australia in the mid 90s.

While conceding these tactics are salty, James just doesn’t have the energy to be fighting a battle on so many fronts. Adding,

“It’s a bit of a dark day for New Zealand and I have a mean hangover cuzzy. It’s truly the morning that the chur stopped”

We spoke to a local Aussie who said he would take any attempts to bring up Trevor Chappell’s underarm in 1981 against the Kiwis personally, adding,

“What do you know, they needed a 6 to win off one ball. I think every New Zealander in the country was thinking it. Can we just let it go? Aussies cheat with sandpaper now, not underarms”

Fortunately, the Kiwis have found an unlikely ally in the English, who are more than happy to bring up Australia’s past indiscretions to soften the blow of their own disappointing performance. We spoke to a local Englishman who told The Times,

“The underarm, the sandpaper, Jonny Bairstow’s stumping, if I see any Kiwi getting harassed I am going in swinging. Cheating bloody Aussies”

Bad luck New Zealand, on the other hand at least you’re not England.

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