Sir Keir Starmer has made the tough choice to give up the Prime Ministership after leading the party for a coupla couplas.
In his address to the Nation he said his party had given him an answer and the question was simple. In his words,
“Should I move to Secret Harbour in Perth and retire like my people have done for decades?”
A source close to the Labour Party told The Times,
“Sir Keir is better suited for slowing up the speed of play at the Secret Harbour Links golf course than lead the UK right now, the time is right for him to evolve into his final form”
Not only will Sir Keir be a regular fixture on the course but he also intends on getting his very own seat at the bar of the Whistling Kite.
A source close to the PM told The Times,
“He has a wonderful selection of cargo shorts and those Ralph Lauren Polos with the extra big garish logo, he’s very keen to complain about the drinks hes served and argue the point about how much head a lager ought have”
Exciting times.
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