Go on a romantic tunnel run – sharing such an intimate moment is a great way to show that special somebody you are serious – and that the car you’ve spent way too much cash on can indeed make enough noise in the tunnel to piss off every other motorist.
Who knows? You may even get to spend a romantic evening by the roadside as your date’s car gets a yellow sticker and towed into the distance. Precious memories. More on tunnel runs HERE.
Baking class up Zig Zags – typically couples will go out to eat dinner prepared by someone else. So why not mix it up and do the “baking” yourself? Take your date to Zig Zags to enjoy in some of the finest pastry cheffin’ known to man with your trust cream charger.
Be aware that you are unlikely to be alone. So who knows you might make it a group class and share the fun with other couples? It’s like doggin’ but for aspiring pastry chefs.
Watch a replay of the 2006 AFL Grand Final – huge double standard when it comes to living in the past. If its your wedding video it’s romantic, if its a replay of the 2006 AFL Grand Final blockbuster between the Eagles and Sydney you’re a sadcunt. So break that taboo.
Treat your date to passionate reenactments and lengthy rants about how the Eagles will rise from the ashes once again and you’ll stop secretly watching Flagmantle games in your den of shame.
Ask them to join you on day 4 of your UFC Perth bender – UFC 284 is on the Sunday so by Tuesday you’ll easily be on your 4th day of sleepless, shadowboxing glory. Why not invite that special somebody along with you?
Lord knows you shouldn’t be operating an automobile and you’re probably a bit skint on cash, so needless to say your date will be doing a lot of the heavy lifting in the transport and payment department but at least they’ll get to listen to how many blokes you reckon you could bash. More on the UFC HERE.
Perf style drive-in movies – drive-ins are a great way to inject a hot dose of nostalgia into your date but how do you Perf it up? Well, that’s in your WA-born DNA my friend.
All you need is a car and a screen so do what you do best and send that HiLux through someone’s living room and enjoy whatever film they were taking in before your little “intrusion”. An unforgettable date in true Perf style.
Take em on a tour of your old high school – what school you went to is basically the Perth astrology sign. Sure, you’ll bring up the question within the first 5 seconds of meeting them but that’s just expected. How to elevate your Perth-game?
Take ‘em on a tour of your old high school of course. Whether it be an open day, an organised tour or just jumping the fence and showing them exactly where you came 3rd in the school aths carnival long jump. A memory you can’t let go of and now shared beautifully. More on school culture HERE.
Long romantic walk along shit-river – it’s hard to think of anything more romantic than a meandering stroll while wondering which one of you let rip a yogo dirt dessert-bomb in their grundies.
The Swan’s unique odour is a powerful aphrodisiac to a Perth born individual. It’ll get you both in the mood and even cover your own questionable perth-onal hygiene too. Doesn’t get much better than that, you goblin. More on the powerful Swan scent HERE.
Take ‘em to your favourite petrol station – your average Perth resident spends about ¼ of their life in their car. It’s a vast city and we’re a bunch of public transportaphobes. A side effect of this is everyone having a personal favourite servo. Share this intimate knowledge with your date.
After a quick tour of the site, you can share a combination of 2fa deals in the car park after a quick billie that you keep under your seat. What a beautiful Perth moment and extra romantic based on the money saved!
A scenic drive to whichever pub car park your car is stranded at this morning – as mentioned before, Perth isn’t the kind of place your average punter catches Uber or public transport to the pub. We drive, leave our cars there, get home somehow and then have to make the Mordorian trek back the next day.
So why not combine this excruciating hungover next-day task as a first date? Don’t worry you’ll definitely be taking the scenic route as your patchy memory remembers that you’ve actually ended up at the 2nd pub you went to and your car is really at a pub a short 30-minute drive away. Plenty of time to bond!
Go sinkholing in Subi – nothing like an element of exploration on a date. It can help smooth over some of the awkward conversational silences and in Subi you may even get a juicy insurance claim on your piece of shit car out of it.
Subi is fast taking the crown from Baldivis as the sinkhole suburb. So spend the day looking for critical infrastructure erosion and give your date the experience of a lifetime as your car is slowly swallowed up by the hungry Perf earth. More on Perf sinkholes HERE.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?