Relationship On The Rocks As Man’s Show Of Love Fails To Beat GF’s Influencer Competition

Despite being given excruciatingly detailed instructions on how to EXACTLY show his love for her, a Perth influencer’s boyfriend has managed to ruin the entire day after her Vday posts fail to out-yield her competition’s posts. 

At the time of writing this article, Simone had left her feller’s grovelling apology message on seen for over an hour. She is still fuming that some bee-sting faced ball of ick doubled her likes on the first post out of the gate. She told The Times,

“I actually bought the bouquet myself (using his money) so all he needed to do was deliver it to me at work and what does he do? He lets some of the roses slip out of the place on the drive to my work. This entire bouquet looks fkn disgusting now. It’s meant to pop, no wonder it didn’t do well on socials. Day is ruined”

To make matters worse, the breakfast in bed she oversaw him cook lacked the sort of je ne sais quoi that would make it an IG hit. Furthermore, his stupid sleep deprived face from being up at 6 am to prepare the feast ruined the loving-couple-brekkie-in-bed selfie that she figured would rack up the engagements. She told The Times,

Related: 10 Hot Ways to Go Full Perf This Valentine’s Day

“It took me like 15 minutes to write that absolute essay of a caption about getting to share this day with my partner in crime and what does he do? Looks like a sack of fkn shit warmed up in a microwave. Ughhhh, so ick, why is no one commenting on our love?”

Needless to say, Simone has put her feller on notice. If the dinner plans she has painstakingly orchestrated don’t hit the social high notes then he’ll almost certainly be playing a solo on the pork recorder on the couch tonight. She added,

“He better not find a way to ruin the shine of that diamond tennis bracelet I made him buy me. No doubt he will. This is his last chance to be honest”

RELATED: Man Who Claims He Doesn’t Need a Special Day To Show His Love Isn’t Doing A Great Job On The Other Days Either

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