Man Who Claims He Doesn’t Need a Special Day To Show His Love Isn’t Doing A Great Job On The Other Days Either

Forrestfield man, Craiglyn has defiantly told his misso that he won’t be getting sucked into the commercialised nonsense of Valentine’s Day. Telling her that he doesn’t need a special day to show her that he appreciates her. A seemingly romantic gesture, if only it was true. 

His misso is currently sitting at her place of employment watching all the other girls in the office receive bouquets of flowers, boxes of chocolates, and cute little teddies telling them they are being thought of. She is being kept warm by some of her own memories. She told The Times,

“Yeah, Craiglyn says he’s not forking out for flowers, and that because every day of our life together is an expression of his desire for me. That’s better than any gift to be honest, even if he does consistently use our joint credit card to get rub’n’tugs. I see the transaction every Friday”

Craiglyn is currently at work himself. Trying to rummage up a crew to go drinking with him after work. Alas, they are all claiming they have Vday dinner plans to which he responds angrily. A workmate of Craiglyn told The Times,

Related: Relationship On The Rocks As Man’s Show Of Love Fails To Beat GF’s Influencer Competition

“He kept calling us squeezers for celebrating Vday. Said he takes his woman out for a Hogs Breath surf & turf on her birthday and shouts her 2 and a half stubbies of Jacks. Got in my face and asked what more did a woman need?”

His misso slumped deeper into an existential crisis as she heard about how one of the girls was surprised with breakfast in bed. Her feller had carefully constructed an Acai bowl that looked just like the ones in Bali. She told The Times,

“Craiglyn says he loves me but when I ask him to stop throwing his wet towels on the floor he laughs and offers me a cup of concrete. I can’t complain though, he got the nice Steggles chicken ovenables for our anniversary last year. He didn’t remember it was or nothing. I think he got em for the footy but have shared em with me so that was quite beautiful”

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