“Shock and awe” is the general consensus circulating at a popular Perth boat ramp this morning after a man in a BCF shirt and a 300 Series Landcruiser ran an absolute clinic on how to launch a boat.
Not only did the man reverse back in one swift motion but he also avoided donating his new 4WD to the drink. A witness at the scene still can’t believe his eyes,
“Unreal, he didn’t even pull up with that sort of cocky bravado that makes you want to slap someone right in the face. He just patiently waited his turn, launched his boat swiftly, and then cleared the way for the next watercraft. All while wearing a BCF shirt”
While the moment was enjoyed by young & old alike, some in the crowd thought something more sinister was at play.
We spoke to a seasoned angler who said in his years cruising the high sea looking for other bloke’s fishing spots he has never ONCE seen someone in a BCF shirt display such class. He told The Times,
“If you ask me he is a plant. I’m trying to work out if Toyota or BCF are behind it or maybe a joint operation to try and salvage both their reputations in the outdoors scene. I’m suspicious I tell ya”
We managed to get hold of the captain’s wife who didn’t go out to sea that day. She told The Times,
“Well, during his morning safety gear check he realised he didn’t have enough life jackets so someone had to stay back. He’s so thorough with that stuff, flares, distress beacons, extra water and food in case of emergency”
It was difficult to comprehend what we were hearing. A BCF warrior taking safety seriously. We decided that we had to speak to the captain on board. Ringing his satellite phone we asked how his day was going,
“Great mate, just knocked the top off an ice cold Heineken 0, I like to remain at 0.0 ABV at all times, sure one beer wouldn’t hurt but what’s the point, I get a greater buzz of taking the lives & safety of my friends seriously”
Yeah OK, this is an obvious plant. We asked him if he could produce a receipt for his BCF shirt. Thinking this would be the detail that would unravel his sick, twisted game. He told us,
“Oh sure, I’ll get my mate Todd to send it over. A couple of the boys bought it for me to say thanks for winching them out of a perilous situation while 4WD’ing in my 80 series club. I miss that rig, I saved a lot of bloke’s bacon in it!”
Who is this guy?
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?