6 Hot Activities To Get The Full Perf Experience This Week

Stray trolley wrangling – yeehaw, pardner. Time to put those Jackaroo boots you enjoy wearing so much to good use and head to your local suburban hub to wrangle stray trolleys that have separated from the herd!

Needless to say, it’ll be fun for the whole family. If you’re starting out then perhaps Cockburn is a good place but if you’re keen to step up your game there is plenty of hunting to be done in Armadale & Midland. What you do with your catch is up to you! 

Crown Towers cashed up bogan migration – we are balls deep in Staycation season and the weekly migration of the CUBs from the Crown Towers pool to the various bars is not to be missed!

Timing can be tricky but usually, the migration will begin when someone’s kid drops a brown depth charge in the pool and then Tanyeah and Thommo feel like getting some liquid confidence before committing unspeakable acts against their hotel room bed sheets. Grim! More on Mr Crown Towers HERE

Escape (from school acquaintances) room Garden City – head down to Garbo on Thursday night for one of the most enjoyable escape rooms in the city! 

See if you can get your shopping done before running into a mouthbreathing fuckwit that you’ve spent the better part of 2 decades avoiding! Be warned this isn’t for beginners and if you’re not skilled at the art of non-detection you’ll be devoured by the ravenous beast of unwanted small chat. The horror. More on the escape rooms HERE.

Dog owner royal rumble – head down to Bicton or any popular park area to join in on the daily dog owner royal rumble. See leashes don’t apply to fur babies. Especially ones under the guarantee of friendliness. 

Enjoy the screeching or dog owners with no control over their animals and with a bit of luck you’ll probably see a bust up or two. Extra points if you manage to see an overzealous ranger on the loose. More on the spectacle HERE.

Urban shipwreck exploration – it’s commonly believed that you need to get wet to explore shipwrecks. Wrong! All you need to do is search roads leading to boat ramps all across the city!

There are dozens of main road shipwrecks every day and the best part is you don’t need a snorkel to check them out. Be careful if you plan to salvage the treasurer inside, however. There is a high chance the owner is just off to the side talking to Allianz! More info HERE.

Chinese-made Aussie flag pride parade – it begins. What a marvel as Australia Day approaches, every ute, dual cab, Commodore or Falcon worth its salt will be proudly displaying their love for Australia with cheap, shitty Chinese-made flags.

You can check out this spectacle all over Perth but for the best show you’re going to have to head to Rockingham. Remember to bring your vape! More on this parade HERE.

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Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?