The White House has been forced to take a hard look at the Sharting King’s Presidential detail after another alleged near miss at a dinner the other day.
Clearly, his current detail isn’t up for the task so they have decided to bring in a team of men & woman who have dealt with absolutely every threat known to man – the old security guards at the Pier Hotel in Port Hedland circa 1970-1990.
Dubbed the world’s toughest pub, the Pier Hotel had a fearsome reputation for many decades. With some even suggesting 86 shankings in a single night in the 70s.
While this may sound like a fail by security you have to think about how many stabbings there would’ve been if they hadn’t been there. Possibly in the thousands. Well done to the team.
We spoke to the head of security at The White House who said the choice was a no-brainer, adding,
“What we like most about the team is that they are well positioned to deal with someone shitting their pants, which will happen if you spend enough time with President Trump”
Critics have blasted the appointment stating that some of these security guards are over 70 years old. However, what they lack in mobility they make up in experience. With one expert telling The Times,
“Most have dealt with more dangerous situations than an American SEAL, let that sink in. you ever seen Wake in Fright? Just imagine that every night”
Well, Trump is in good hands.
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