Xmas host asserts authority by sending freeloading relative on a mission to get more ice

A notorious freeloader has been served a large plate of justice this morning after rocking up to Xmas for the 10th year in a row without any of his own booze.

Knowing full well the man is gainfully employed and well remunerated, his tightness has become somewhat of a running joke in the family.

However, the host of this Xmas has decided that the freeloader will have to sing for his supper. After arriving at 10:30 am, the host confirmed he was boozeless and just before the man sat down gave him his mission. A witness told The Times,

“This guy was about to settle in for a big day on everyone else’s beers when Thommo sternly and authoritatively told him that he was going to need him to run down to the servo to get some ice. Then he champed him. In front of his wife & kids”

Knowing full well he was in the weaker bargaining position, the serial stinge was forced to accept his fate. His wife told The Times,

“I could sense he was about to roll his eyes or mutter some lame excuse but Thommo was engaged in a demented staring battle. He was waiting for him to ark up”

After the freeloader exited the property to get into his car the family applauded Thommo’s display of dominance. Even nan commented that it was about time the sack of shit contributed to the Xmas.

When he arrived back from the servo (with only 1 bag, mind you), the freeloader found the premium parking spot he’d snared early taken.

He was relegated to the end of the street and had to do the walk of shame. When he got back, Thommo didn’t even utilise the ice immediately. He explained his thinking,

“I just wanted him to look at the bag slowly melting next to the esky. Think about what he has done over the past decade. I’ll put him out of his misery later but for now that’s the situation”

On’ya Thommo.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?