Santa has gone and done it now! WorkSafe WA were forced to ground the jolly fat man after a tip off from the public that he was solely relying on Rudolph’s HiVis nose to guide his sleigh tonight.
WorkSafe swooped on Santa as he was preparing for his journey. Slapping him with some heavy fines for his clear disdain for visibility protocol.
A spokesperson for WorkSafe told The Times that they’d ruin Xmas a million times over if it meant people adhered to visibility standards, adding,
“One bloody glowing nose? What is this guy thinking? None of his other staff have any HiVis wear on and the clown is going to be flying at night and landing on millions of suburban roof tops. What a joker”
Santa apparently argued at length with the inspectors. At one point accusing them of having shitfabrains given Rudolph’s nose was giving off more Lumens than red dirt stained pajamas WA miners wear every day.
We spoke to Santa who was on the blower to his union rep. He told The Times ,
“These dogs get their fancy dog degree and think they can tell a bloke who does the job how to do it. I’ve been flying for centuries and never once caused a work site incident. They can blow it out their arse!”
Regrettably, Santa offered to put the inspectors on his “nice list” to get the necessary approval to fly moving faster. This only resulted in more fines.
He then threatened them with his “naughty list” which only resulted in even more fines for thuggery.
We reached out to Premier Cook for comment but clearly he is busy figuring out a way to tell his kids there will be no pressies this year!
