In a much-awaited follow-up to the announcement of the public holiday on the 22nd, Albo has confirmed that the 23rd will be a day of honouring the nation’s favourite pastime of chucking a sickie.
Given Thursday and Monday are public holidays, all a keen bean needs to do is phone it in on Friday to enjoy 5 days of work-free bliss over the grand final weekend.
We spoke to a young bloke who said he had already begun planning his Friday morning phone call but concedes it will take all his cunning, adding,
“A Friday sickie is suss at the best of times but Friday the 23rd will be extra suss. I’m going hard man, gonna get a medical note from the chemist for having the shits and all”
Another more apathetic individual said he wasn’t going to waste his Friday getting a doctor’s note and they could sack him for all he cared, adding,
“5 days mate away from Carol microwaving her fkn tuna bake and Ted breathing like a pug that had gone 10 rounds like Mike Tyson. No one is taking that away from me”
We spoke to Tamara who said she honestly “wanted to do the right thing” and put in an annual leave request but the short notice and avalanche of requests being submitted meant she couldn’t be guaranteed the time off. She told The Times,
“Yeah not risking this one. Especially given it’s grand final weekend and the sun has begun to come out. Thanks Albo”
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?