Home Hot Takes Reckons Perth’s Hall of Fame Sinkholes

Perth’s Hall of Fame Sinkholes

Every now and then, the great road gods decide to smite Perth for its relentless shitshow of atrocious driving. This comes in the form of mighty sinkholes that strike without notice and without warning. Often causing moderate inconvenience and detours. The horror.

March 2021, Wangara – the great Perf sinkhole hadn’t fed in a while and has clearly emerged from its slumber to take vengeance on Wanneroo Rd. Although, it’s hard to tell whether this was a sinkhole or just a new public pool being installed.

Simon Etheridge

June 2020, Bennet Springs – here we see the sinkhole attempting to feast on a hatchback. Clearly, the sinkhole didn’t show this mighty rig enough respect and failed to open up enough to enjoy its meal. It was saved from the jaws of death.

February 2019, Baldivis – some say if you build a suburb in a swampish hellscape you are probably going to get sinkholes. Others considered this the most exciting thing to ever happen in Baldivis and welcomed the tourist attraction. The Perf Sinkhole acts in mysterious ways. Note: the trolley population of Baldivis reclaiming their traditional habitat.

June 2019, Baldivis strikes back – that’s the thing about the Perf Sinkhole, it can show great cruelty and strike the same suburb twice. Whatever the reason, the terrain was angry that day, friends.

WAToday

December 2018, Dundas Rd – here we see the Perf Sinkhole dabble in some domestic terrorism. Taking aim at the Forrestfield Airport Link project. It struck with such precision and ferocity that it delayed the project an entire year. Or perhaps the Government unfairly blamed the Perf Sinkhole for their own delays. Who is the real monster?

ABC

October 2017, Kingsley – clearly in 2017 the Perf Sinkhole wasn’t barebacking arachnids. While instances of the sinkhole feasting on cars is rare it’s not unheard of. Luckily, this prey was able to be removed via a crane before disappearing into the abyss.

ABC

June 2017, Wanneroo – here we see the sinkhole at its most malicious. Clearly, not respecting smoko. Alternatively, perhaps the sinkhole could sense that the driver needed the rest of the day off. Goes to show that you can’t judge the Perf Sinkhole on face value.

The West

Now we must wait until she decides it’s time to feed again. It could be anywhere, or any time but most likely Baldivis or Wanneroo.