Perth has enjoyed a blanket of smoke as the afternoon wind posed a serious challenge to after-work joggers and chumps who had their washing on the line. However, not all were cursing the smoke gods.
Belmont amateur pitmaster, Terry, doesn’t know what all the fuss is about. Even admitting the smell of the charred wood was giving him somewhat of a mega-stiffy.
Terry’s wife told The Times,
“Even the smell of smoke gets him all meaty in the grundies region. He whips himself up into quite a frenzy. Rattling off all the cuts he wants to BBQ on the weekend and how god damn juicy they’ll all be. It frightens me a little bit, he has full-blown meatlust”
Terry was in the middle of injectin’ a leg of pork with a new sugar brine mix he’d concocted and told The Times,
“I’d bend the atmosphere over at the moment and pull my pork in her ozone layer so good. That’s the smell of good cooking bro”
He stopped momentarily to bring up several photos on his phone of his last cook, before continuing,
“See that, melts off the bone. Then melts in my gob. Then down my chin. Hooooo-boy, I’m ready to go man. You got any coals on ya?”
His long-suffering wife picked up where Terry left off,
“I don’t even bother buying him new clothes anymore. A $75 Gazman polo completely ruined by the stink of smoke. All his stupid clothes stink of smoke. He’s a one-man prescriby B”
In the space of 5 minutes, Terry had worked himself into such a state he *had* to get down to the local shops before they close.
Claiming, he had severe smokey blue rissoles and might do something stupid if he doesn’t get his backyard stinking even more pungently of afternoon BBQ.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
