BREAKING: Dangerous Night To Be A Froff In An Accountant’s Fridge

One rarely hears the expression, “party like an accountant”, unless of course, they are referring to the annual EOFY celebrations.

A time when mild-mannered accountants deal with the trauma of the past few weeks by turning into booze-seeking missiles of mass froffstruction. Or in some cases, really pushing the boat out with several glasses of wine. 

We spoke to Benjamin who said he’s essentially had no social life leading up to the EOFY. Adding that even by an accountant’s standards is pretty sad. 

Eying off the boardroom fridge, he told The Times,

“I’m kinda like a party python. I don’t need to party regularly but when I do I gorge myself. Tonight is that night. It’s time to feed”

Alice similarly was feeling stressed, unappreciated and under the pump in the last few work hours left in the financial year. She told The Times,

“I need this. All I’ve been looking at is spreadsheets all month. Well guess who wants to get a little bit spread herself? This is my night to shine”

Police advise to exercise caution if you are entering the CBD as the usually docile accountants may be a bit spicier during this time of year thanks to EOFY-lust. 

A spokesperson for the police told The Times,

“Look every year, we get the occasional complaint that a passerby cops a spray from an accountant. Usually about their irresponsible spending patterns or inability to retain an accurate record of outgoings. It’s just that time of the year, please approach with caution, they are all armed with corporate credit cards and they know how to use them”

The public is also advised to avoid bothering an accountant with their requests to have a look at their tax returns. Benjamin told The Times,

“I’m not a bloody tax accountant! If someone interrupts ben-time with a stupid tax return query I’ll set upon them. That’s how you get bitten”

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?