American Tourists Warned After Rockingham Put On The Map Again 

A recent survey of Americans looking to visit Western Australia revealed that they see Rockingham as a mythical land of attractive celebrities, elite basketballers, top politicians and dutiful servicemen basking in valour. 

However, WA Tourism has warned incoming Americans that their visit to Rockingham might not be a waltz through the Australian talent renaissance they may think.

A spokesperson for WA Tourism released a statement saying any American wanting to soak in a bit of WA’s talent factory should follow some basic precautions, 

“We don’t want Yanks walking up to every hunky Rocko tradie and asking for an autograph. You have to remember you are in their natural habitat and could be highly strung depending on how many Dare’s they’ve ripped through that morning”

Similarly, American tourists shouldn’t confuse the fact everyone wears bright red basketball shoes with any sort of athletic prowess. Adding,

“Don’t be fooled by the red Jordans. It’s just what they wear. The only court a lot of them have been near is the Magistrates on a Monday morning for disorderly conduct. Please don’t interrupt them while they are vaping for a photo”

Nevertheless, we caught up with an American family who had travelled to Australia for the sole reason of visiting Rockingham. Bob told The Times,

“We just hope Rockingham will rub off on our boy. We’d love him to get into Hollywood, the NBA, politics or the military and it seems that’s what Rockingham is all about. There’s obviously a lot of wealth too, look at how many gold chains there are. What a magical place”

Clearly, the man needs to be careful for what he wishes for. Lest his son be drawn into a world of bumbags, Harleys and telling every bouncer outside the Swinging Pig that you’re cousin is a bikie. 

Sure, he could walk in the footsteps of some of Rockingham’s greats but then again, he might not. Just proceed with caution America. 


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