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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Saturday, July 05, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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Category: BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS

Millennial Born Too Late To Smoke, Too Soon To Vape, Fears He’ll Never Fit In

Belle February 9, 2023

A man born on the cusp of Gen Y and Gen Z has been struggling with his beer-garden identity of late. Admitting that he missed…

View More Millennial Born Too Late To Smoke, Too Soon To Vape, Fears He’ll Never Fit In
BREAKING NEWS

Logan Paul Confident His Choreographed WWE Moves Will Help Him Survive Midvale This Weekend 

Belle February 8, 2023

General societal stain and documenter of corpses, Logan Paul, has boldly chosen Midvale Woolies to be the site of his meet & greet to promote…

View More Logan Paul Confident His Choreographed WWE Moves Will Help Him Survive Midvale This Weekend 
BREAKING NEWS Business Sports

Netball Australia Dresses Up As Hancock Employee To Try And Nab Some Of Gina’s Bday Bonuses 

Belle February 8, 2023

Netball Australia has devised an ingenious plan to claw back some of Gina’s withdrawn funding without having to display her logo on their official uniforms…

View More Netball Australia Dresses Up As Hancock Employee To Try And Nab Some Of Gina’s Bday Bonuses 
BREAKING NEWS Business

Twiggy outdoes Gina’s $100k gifts by giving 10 employees a ‘15 79 series Landcruiser

Belle February 8, 2023

Never one to be outshone in the realm of generosity, the Twigman has responded to the news of Gina Rinehart gifting 10 employees 100 thousand…

View More Twiggy outdoes Gina’s $100k gifts by giving 10 employees a ‘15 79 series Landcruiser
BREAKING NEWS True-ish Crime

Royal Commission To Be Held To Understand How Anyone Could Treat An AU Wagon So Poorly

Belle February 7, 2023

WA has announced that it has spoken to the Prime Minster and Governor General and a Royal Commission will be held to determine just what…

View More Royal Commission To Be Held To Understand How Anyone Could Treat An AU Wagon So Poorly
BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Self-Serve Checkout Rorter Claims He’s Just Doing His Bit To Fight Inflation, RBA Approves

Belle February 7, 2023

A man busted trying to put through expensive deli meats in mushroom bags today has exclaimed his innocence. Saying he only sought to rip off…

View More Self-Serve Checkout Rorter Claims He’s Just Doing His Bit To Fight Inflation, RBA Approves

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TRENDING NEWS

  • REPORT: Labubu is just Teletubbies for people who @ brands on IG pretending they have an endorsement
  • Birkenstock urgently recall these things. No specific reason they’re just sorry for releasing them
  • Qantas hackers now the custodians of millions of useless flight credits
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Freo Dockers have been training in a Wagin sheep paddock in preparation for the SCG turf
  • Eradication back on the cards after the Cuntbeetle was found to have jumped the queue for Rotto accommodation

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  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
  • BoM To Reclassify Perth Storms Based On Likelihood Of Trampoline Blowing Away 
  • REPORT: Perth Man In Arctic Jacket & Shorts Doesn’t Care What You Think 
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