Mums all over Scarborough are taking to Facebook groups to ask who tf has their GHD straightener after Cooper Connelly put in a serious effort to seal the Big Bash final on Saturday evening.
Over 70 reports of missing GHDs have come through the system since Saturday and a local police officer thinks he knows why. Reporting that he saw a couple of grommets using a hair straightener plugged into a public power point near the beach. He told The Times,
“Usually you see a little group of mulleted groms huddled together and you’d think they were sharing around a Gatorade bottle but that’s not what I witnessed. They were clumsily trying to straighten their mullets and might I add doing a dogshit effort of it”
We spoke to a yummy mummy and general NOR scabby socialite who said she couldn’t be seen in public without her GHD given the humidity has her looking like a designer Labradoodle. She told The Times,
“Oh that little shit is going to get it when he comes home. I just know he’s at one of this scaly mate’s house getting his mullet straight. All he talked about was Cooper this and Cooper that. Claims he dropped in on him once but now it’s all love. I want my damn hair straightener back”
We spoke to a grommet who we caught using a power point at a train station to get the iconic straight party at the back look. He told The Times,
“Curly mullets are out brah. It’s all about the straight, clean look now. Our lord & saviour Cooper Connelly say so ay. Could you have a crack at me hair? I keep burning my fingers”
Local police are asking the groms to pull their heads in and return the straightening irons that are probably worth more to their mums than they are right now.
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