Flagmantle bandwagoner relieved he forgot to take the tag off his fresh merch 

It was a tough night for Flagmantle diehards but old mate Bailey could at least sleep tight in the knowledge he can get a full refund on his Freo guernsey, beanie & scarf on Monday. 

Bailey was looking suspiciously calm as Pies scored goal after goal with some in his viewing party being forced to side-eye his purple loyalty. 

We spoke to a Flagmantle fan who was frankly unimpressed with Bailey’s show of passion. Adding,

“Look, I’d never heard him say two words about Freo until about round 11. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I accept people can change but as it turns out he was just a bandwagonercunt”

In an extraordinary text message we obtained we can reveal that Bailey sent the following in the 3rd quarter,

“Fark glad i didn’t take the tags off, gonna return this shit and we’ll get on it for the GF party, pingas?”

In the fourth quarter, Bailey sent the following to his work colleague, 

“Classic freo ay, need a choking hazard warning on this kit I bought ay ahahaha, gonna get a refund but”

To make matters worse, Bailey was seen leaving the footy party 10 minutes before the end in a jovial mood. Announcing that he’s heading to Northbridge to cut some shapes. 

No true Flagmantle supporter would be in a mood to dance right now. Bailey, you’re busted. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?