Armadale line commuter farewells family as he prepares for new life on replacement buses

With just over a month until the Armadale line shuts for “18 months”, Kelmscott man Todd has made the difficult decision to farewell his family now and use the remaining time to mentally prepare for his new life on replacement buses.

It should be noted that the estimate is 18 in Government months. So the actual time frame is likely to be closer to 10-15 years.

The CBD worker said he expected his life would become a horrific loop of public transport hell and it was fairer on his young children for them to think he went to prison. Adding,

“I don’t want them to think about their father waiting for inevitably late replacement buses and then squeezing on said bus with 80 other frustrated people. That’s distressing. I’d rather him just assume I went full Kelmscott or something”

Todd’s wife was hesitant at first but ultimately understood it was what he had to do. She told The Times,

“His employer revoked all working from home privileges after noticing its staff had faint glimmers of hope & joy in their eyes. They put a stop to that and now Todd faces hours of public transport a day when the train line closes. I have told him he’s welcome to pursue a bus relationship as long as it stays on the bus”

We asked Todd about the “bus pass” and he chuckled to himself before regaling us with a story about holding the door open for a woman running to make it. They locked eyes as the bus driver screamed at them for delaying his run. He added,

“I asked her if she was catching the bus to prepare for her new life too. She said yes and we agreed to share a seat together. Maybe raise a little family. We aren’t sure. I think this is the best life can be for me for a while”

A Government spokesperson told The Times that they were shocked Armadale line residents were actually considering this bus malarky. Adding,

“Between you and me, we didn’t think anyone would bother catching a replacement bus. This was about giving Perth some breathing room from the South East corridor. I guess we’ll actually have to make arrangements for buses to pick them up, damnit”

Ah yes, the Government confirming what everyone suspected. We wish Todd and his new bus woman a happy life together and hopefully when the project ends in “18 months” they can reunite with their respective families.

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