Trouble is brewing in a South West town after the proprietor decided to up the price of sauce 10c to cover their rising costs.
To say the price increase is the talk of the town is an understatement and clear factions are emerging. We spoke to Ken, the unofficial leader of the section of the community who feels it’s unAustralian and a blatant cash grab from hard-working cob & cobettes. He told The Times,
“They are taking sauce out of the mouths of our children! This is a 10c sauce town, charging 20c is against everything we stand for. I’m going to start bringing in me own bottle in protest. Anyone wants some more sauce with their pie come and bloody see me”
The bakery isn’t without its supporters, however. With a somewhat more sophisticated member of the community standing behind their decision. We spoke to Anette who also runs sausage sizzles for the local footy club. She told The Times,
“Unfortunately, sauceflation is real. I know we all want to live in the age where sauce is free but that’s not how it works for local businesses. I think a 10c increase is in line with inflation! Some more popular spots charge up to 50c for sauce! If you want to protest someone, protest them!”
The bakery owner has gone to ground after Ken organised a rag tag bunch of hicks to protest outside the store. Speaking from an undisclosed location the owner told The Times,
“Christ, this is vanilla-slice-gate all over again, instead of raising the price I just made the portions smaller. Ken got so worked up that he was admitted to hospital with chest pains. We had to have a community meeting and everything where I explained the reason for the smaller slices. There are still some in the community that cross the road when I walk by”
To better understand Ken’s outrage, we spoke to his brother who said Ken was more clued in than people gave him credit for
“I know people think Ken is just a cantankerous fossil living in the past but in reality, he’s just a saucialist. You should go to a BBQ at his house, he has one of those really inconvenient 4L Fountain tomato sauce bottles and he’ll go around to everyone to check if their plate is swimming in it. It was a cost he was always prepared to bear”
Only time will tell if the community finds a way to heal after this. However, it’s unlikely. This a lesson the local pub could’ve told the bakery after increasing Swanny D by $1 earlier this year.
That publican still gets miscellaneous road kill thrown at his front door.
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