Couple’s Parental Fitness Questioned After Attending Perth Zoo Without Wanderer Cart

A young couple has shocked onlookers today by taking their kids to the Zoo today without adhering to the prevailing parental norm of lugging their shit around in a Wanderer Cart. 

A season pass holder and South Perth yummy mummy told The Times,

“Some people SERIOUSLY need to read the room. If they want to come to South Perth then they should understand how things are done around here. They were carrying backpacks and their 48 month-year-olds were getting around by using their legs!”

The staff at the zoo didn’t quite know how to react. There wasn’t an express condition requiring a Wanderer Cart as it had never been an issue in the past. 

A spokesperson for the Zoo told The Times,

“There was a fair bit of pressure at the gate to not let them in. Especially from a couple of parents who had just finished a long lunch at the Windsor. They kept saying you just can’t trust young parents who think they know better than the rest of us”

It’s no surprise the Wanderer Carts have taken the Perth parenting scene by storm. Mixing concepts of convenience with another 4-wheeled contraption that entitled parents will certainly expect pedestrians to get the hell out of the way of. 

The young couple was defiant in their decision to go old school. Telling The Times,

“Honestly, why do people bring so much shit with them? We had a couple of backpacks for some water and a light lunch. We only planned to be gone for 3 hours. Are we bad parents? For rolling the dice on not getting lost in the wilderness after attending a zoo in South Perth?”

A leading parenting expert from Bicton says, yes. Extrapolating for The Times,

“The Wanderer Cart isn’t just about practicality. It’s to turn your little family into a pram & cart convoy. It’s a way of telling the world, clear a path for us because we are special. So failing to comply to this custom is essentially saying you don’t really like your kids that much”

This wasn’t the only faux pas displayed by the young parents today. With another shocked onlooker from a Mill Point Road residence told The Times,

“They fed their children standard white bread. With crusts. I saw them on the grass. What’s next cow milk? I had half a mind to report them to the authorities and have their children removed”

Rough scenes all around.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?