11 Ways To Make Apprenticeships More Appealing To The WA Youth

Government subsidies on Hilux utes – it’s time the Government acknowledged that the price of a Hilux flatbed is ridiculous and a mere pipedream for your average appreno. Let them embrace the tradie lifestyle fully from the start and help them acquire their first Hilux. It’s 70% of the reason they are doing this shit anyway. More on the Hilux HERE.

30-minute “send it” breaks – whether it’s aiding down south appreno’s search for the perfect wave or letting a little grom with his flogged-out Hilux send it over a medium strip to the delight of his scaly mates. It’s all about work/sending-it balance which is very important to the young Aussie teen. More on sending it HERE.

Crackdown on bumfluff abuse – justice for appreno facial hair is a movement that is picking up steam. A little fluff around the chin and mo makes them feel like big men. Does it look like they faceplanted a Greek painter’s toilet seat? Yes but just tone down the abuse by about 50%. More on the abuse HERE.

TikTok recruitment signing bonus – let the little shit heads know that if they can recruit more of their scaly mates via insufferable TikTok bullshit they can get a 20% bonus on their vape allowance. Or maybe just a coupla fresh pineapples to feed the local TAB machine. Lord knows that’s where any windfalls will be heading soon enough. 

Bucket of sectioned hose at every site – what a selling point. Never risk the ire of a community FB page name & shame again. Provide a bucket of freshly chopped hose for your apprenos to use however they see fit. They are going to do it anyway so why not make them feel valid? More HERE.

BUILDING CRISIS NEWS: WA blamed for builder being unable to finish his grotesquely stacked plate at the Atrium buffet

Allow appreno to Christen the slab with skid – for most homeowners the best they can hope for at the minute is a slab of concrete. It will sit idle for maybe 4 years (depending on who you are building with) so what’s the harm in letting an appreno lay the first skid before the older tradies have their fun? It’s about building a culture of equal respect. More on the slab life HERE.

Apprentice-only portaloos – those beautiful young digestive systems still have some life in them. They’ll graduate to the horrors of ol Billy Bourbon Bum creating an ecological disaster in the portaloo 4 times a day. So why not give them a sense God hasn’t abandoned this horrible ablution hellscape for the first coupla years they are learning? 

Roast chook loyalty card – apprenos aren’t always paid well and it can be embarrassing having to scrimp at smoko. By working in conjunction with the local supermarkets, apprenos can be rewarded for their loyalty and adapt to the tradie diet as soon as possible. More on the diet of champions HERE.

Free bumper sticker of their choosing – this is a no brainer. Choose between a Hillzeez, kiwi fern or a diesel soot gets the moot sticker with every new apprenticeship started. Employers can choose to offer a more exotic range but you’re pretty much covering all bases right there. More on groms with Hillzeez HERE.

5mins of site radio time every hour – to some, the thought of listening to a teenage turd’s music choices on-site fills them with an unholy rage. However, 5 mins aren’t going to kill anyone and will give the young buck hope that one day he’ll be able to work a full shift without having to hear the same 5 songs of Triple M or whatever bullshit gets put on. More on site radio politics HERE.

Partial credit for University of Life courses – our children are the future but let’s not forget the mature aged apprenos in all this. Take 40-year-old Ken from Malaga, he’s had a crack at the plumbing in his granny flat, illegally wired his mate’s beach shack, and has even built a patio that will no doubt be a crime scene one day. TAFE needs to understand that this shit should at least knock a week off his tuition. 

More on the building crisis HERE.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?